A Very Different Adventure
by zxcraous
Summary: I decided to write something not involving Spongebob this time. This is my first crossover ever... so let's see if you guys like it. So, this is about Flapjack and K'nuckles running into Scout on the docks (actually, Scout was the one who was running)...
1. Chapter 1

It was a nice day in Stormalong Harbor. Captain K'nuckles was sleeping while Flapjack was writing in his secret diary (from that episode all that time ago…):

_Dear Diary,_

_ It's such a nice morning in Stormalong today! Captain K'nuckles is still sleeping and I think Bubby went back to sleep after I woke her with my singing about the weather. Hopefully, once the captain wakes up, we'll go on an adventure! What do you think diary?_

Flapjack stopped writing for a minute, hoping that the journal would respond to his inquiry.

_Diary? Are you still there? _

Unfortunately, as far as logic goes, there would never be a response from the diary. Assuming that his diary must be asleep or on a break of some sort, the young lad moved onto his next daily action: waking the captain. Lying next to a pile of empty maple syrup bottles, Captain K'nuckles was out cold, probably in the middle of a dream filled with syrup and candy.

"Captain K'nuckles," Flapjack whispered in a sing-song voice.

The captain's reply was a loud snore.

"Captain, come on, let's go on an adventure," the boy started to jab K'nuckles' nose.

That didn't work. Well, now there was only one thing left to do: slap the man awake. Flapjack did so hesitantly and Captain K'nuckles was finally up.

"Oww, Flap, please find another way to get me out of a deep sleep," the man sat up and rubbed his bloodshot eyes.

"Sorry, captain, I just really wanted to get a head start on an adventure," Flapjack whimpered.

"Well, you kind of had a good reason to wake me up. This shows that your taste for adventure is really strong, just like any adventurer's," Captain K'nuckles patted Flapjack's back.

"Thanks, captain. We should get going to the Candy Barrel for breakfast so we can plan out today's adventure!"

The two climbed out of Bubby's mouth. Bubby's eyes shot open at the movement.

"Oh, good morning, Flapjack," Bubby gave him a hug.

Now, the rivalry between the two elders would wake up itself.

"_K'nuckles,_" Bubby shot him a wicked look.

"_Whale,_" Captain K'nuckles returned the stare.

Flapjack ignored it, took his captain by the hand, and they were off.

"Hopefully Peppermint Larry will let us have some candy without the whole lecture about being poor," Captain K'nuckles said.

"Me too. Doesn't he know that helping the poor is an act of kindness?"

"Well, I didn't know that, probably because I wouldn't consider being kind for a third time."

"Oh yeah, I love that story about when those witches zapped you when you said they were 'very witchy'!"

Captain K'nuckles cringed at the memory, plus at the bad animation it had been portrayed in back in a past episode. After a couple more seconds of walking, they made it to the Candy Barrel, disregarding the screaming sounds coming from the bad side of Stormalong.

"Good morning, Peppermint Larry!" Flapjack greeted the proprietor.

"Hello, Flapjack… do you guys have _money_ for me today?"

"Come on, Peppermint Larry, we're poor and starving!" Captain K'nuckles showed off his fat stomach, attempting to make a point.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I've given you so many freebies. I'm losing profit!"

"What's profit?" Flapjack asked.

"Well, profit is the money I earn from selling candy. If I don't get any profit, I'll eventually lose the Candy Barrel."

This made Flapjack freeze. _Oh no, is the Candy Barrel going to close because of me? _he thought. Saying nothing else, Flapjack forcefully took his captain by the hand and pulled him out of the candy place.

"Why did you do that?" Captain K'nuckles was infuriated.

"I felt bad because we were taking away Peppermint Larry's profit…"

"Flap, we are _poor_ and _hungry_. WE NEED FREEBIES!"

"I know, and I already am aware that it's an act of kindness for him to help us, but now that I know that he could lose the Candy Barrel, I feel bad…"

"Eh, I'll just find some candy in the dumpster later… but I still wish we could get a candy sundae like other folks. Bubby can probably make us some food in the meantime..."

Suddenly, a teenager wearing a red top and a headset was running really quickly towards the two adventurers. The bag he had on his back fell off and baseballs rolled out in all directions. He recovered them in a flash. The "speedster" was also carrying a baseball bat and a gun. Flapjack and K'nuckles were still staring at him in complete shock.

"What're you looking at?" the teen said in a city-like accent.

"Uhh, you, sir…" Flapjack choked out.

"Next time, actually protect yahself when people like me come runnin' along. For all ya know, I could be a Blu Spy!" he laughed.

"What are you _talking_ about?" Captain K'nuckles said.

"Don't ya know that the payload is goin' on right now? Have ya not been listenin' to Solly back at the fort? If he finds out that you guys didn't know, he'll shout ya ears off…"

At the word "payload", Captain K'nuckles was soon interested. _He must mean money… and I really need some of that to get candy!_ he thought.

"Well, we aren't involved in that… but we'd like to join the payload!" Captain K'nuckles grinned.

"Oh, gotcha. Sorry man, I could'a sworn I've seen ya before once I saw how ya were walkin'... or it was just a drunk Demoman!" he said to Captain K'nuckles.

Neither of them got the joke, but it didn't matter. The stranger wearing red led them to the bad side of Stormalong and familiar screams were in earshot again.

"So this is where the screaming was coming from…" Flapjack put the pieces together.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MAGGOT?" an older looking man holding a rocket launcher shouted.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Even though not many people have seen this yet, I've decided to continue writing. It's Spring Break anyways, so I might as well work on this while I'm away from my busy schedule!

The RED Soldier stared at the adolescent with bewilderment and ferocity. Flapjack and K'nuckles stood flabbergasted as they saw rockets and bullets flying everywhere a little distance away.

"Stop ya worryin', Solly, ya sound like Ma. I went off of the battlefield on accident and I found these two guys who want to help us!" the young runner pointed to Flapjack and K'nuckles.

"GET THEM GEARED UP, MAGGOT, AND MAKE SURE THEY KNOW HOW TO FIGHT LIKE MEN! ALSO, IF YOU DON'T STOP CALLING ME SOLLY, I WILL SEND YOU BACK TO YOUR MA IN TINY PIECES! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD, SCOUT?"

"Whatevah man… I'll have 'em out there in a sec."

"Solly" ran back into the nearby battle. Scout let out a sigh of relief.

"Phew, sorry that ya had tah meet him like that. He can be so _annoying_…"

Flapjack finally came out of his state of shock, "So… your name is Scout?"

"Well, that's just my class. We don't really like goin' by our real names. What are ya names?"

"I'm Flapjack, and this is Captain K'nuckles," Flapjack looked over at his captain with concern.

Captain K'nuckles was still watching the combat with pure fear. Eventually, he decided to take his mind off it for a couple of minutes by joining the tête-à-tête.

"Hey, uh… Scout, is it? I thought this was a payload thing…" the captain said.

"Yeah… it is…" Scout replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Doesn't a payload have to do with _money_?"

"No, not at all! Wait, are you telling me that ya _don't _know what the point of the payload is?"

"Is that a bad thing?" Flapjack asked before K'nuckles could think up a reasonable lie and excuse.

"Yes, that's _very_ bad! Did ya even know that we're _fightin'_ out here?" Scout's arms flailed in a very panicky matter.

"We kind of figured that out not too long ago…" Flapjack nervously laughed.

"Ugh, Solly'll kill me if I don't get out there soon! Okay, I'll give ya a really short lesson: our goal is tah stop the BLU team from gettin' their bomb into our base. Ya just have to shoot your guns and kill people. Don't worry about dyin' because the uniforms we wear have a special coding that brings us to Respawn. Got it?"

The two nodded. It seemed simple enough: shoot, kill, don't die, and get sent to Respawn if you do die. What could possibly go wrong?

"Okay, I'm gonna assign you to your classes now. Flapjack, you'll be a Scout like me, and I'll be able to help ya plus teach ya out there. Captain K'nuckles, you'll be a Demoman, just because I will never get over that joke I made about ya walkin'," Scout then handed them their attire and weaponry.

Once they were in their new clothes and gear, Scout showed K'nuckles how to shoot sticky bombs and detonate them, shoot out grenades, and let him take a first swig of scrumpy (K'nuckles didn't like it so he quickly switched it with a bottle of maple syrup he had in his pocket). After teaching Flapjack how to shoot a gun, Scout decided he would teach the young one the rest on the field.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Scout scampered at a ludicrous velocity as the three left to fight.

"I can't run… that… _fast_!" Flapjack was quickly out of breath as he tried to catch up to Scout.

"Here, drink this!" Scout tossed a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch to the lad.

After only one sip, the sailor boy was running as swiftly as his new coworker, and they were already fighting. Captain K'nuckles eventually joined the combat, but he wasn't there long. As soon as he arrived, a giant rocket hit him. Blackness surrounded him until he woke up in a white room.

"Aah! Where am I?"

"In Respawn, partner, where else would ya be?" a voice replied.

Captain K'nuckles turned around and faced a man wearing goggles. He wore a yellow hardhat, a red shirt, and overalls.

"Uh, well, I'm new to all of this stuff… who are you?"

"I'm the Engineer, but just call me Engie. Is this your first day? I didn't know we were gettin' another teammate."

"Uh, well, I met this guy and he told me about some payload so I joined in… what do you mean first—"

Before the new Demoman could finish his question, a guy wearing a red top and vest appeared.

"Good day," he waved to Engie.

He looked at Captain K'nuckles and didn't know what to say.

"Oh, uh, Sniper, this is a new Demoman of ours…"

"Oh, sorry mate. You can never be too safe when those bloody spois are creepin' around…" Sniper soon left to defend the RED base.

"Well, this ain't no time for standin' around, let's get goin'!" Engie ran off.

_How do I get out of here?_ Captain K'nuckles thought once he was alone. Soon, another person respawned, and he was _very_ big. Plus, his weapon was large and it looked heavy. The poor captain hoped that this man wouldn't asphyxiate him thinking he was a "bloody spoi", or whatever that was.

"Who is leetle man?" the stranger's voice boomed.

"Please, don't hurt me! I'm, uh, a new Demo guy!"

"Don't worry, I no hurt leetle Demoman, unless if I must. I am Heavy weapons guy!"

"Nice to meet you, uh, Heavy weapons guy… can you tell me how to get out of here?"

Flapjack was a fast learner, and being fast was what he _definitely_ needed to be considering that he was a Scout. His aim wasn't so good, but he did get lucky at times. He liked the bat and baseballs better since he found it humorous when his enemies dropped their weapons when random baseballs hit them in the head. Scout taught the boy as well as he could under the pressure of a real war happening around them.

"Man, this is actually kind of fun!" Flapjack said after one of his baseballs made a Sniper stumble backwards into a crate.

"I'm glad that ya like it out here. Some people get bored of it after a while, so it's good to have ya enthusiasm on the RED team."

"ALERT: THE BOMB IS REACHING THE FINAL CHECKPOINT!" a voice echoed from speakers.

"I've been hearing that voice all day, what is it for exactly?"

"That's the Administrator. She's always watchin' us fight, and in a case like this, it's helpful. We've gotta stop that bomb from gettin' all the way into the base!"

The "teacher" and his "student" raced towards the RED base. Luckily, Engie had a bunch of high-level sentries that were placed on a catwalk shooting at the BLUs who attempted to push the bomb further. The bomb was only a couple feet away and there were lifeless bodies surrounding it.

"Phew, the sentries got 'em…" Scout wiped away imaginary sweat from his forehead.

"Are the sentries those robot gun things?"

"Yep, ya got it. I hope that BLU Spy isn't creeping around…"

Uh-oh, Scout just had to say that. One of the sentries soon malfunctioned and blew up in Engie's face. Then, all of the others blew up and left behind metallic remains. In a puff of blue smoke, a man wearing a blue pin-striped suit and a ski mask appeared, grinning evilly as he smoked a cigarette.

"You might as well give up, _partner_!" he cackled at Engineer.

Engie soon pinned down the masked man (the man in the suit barely tried to defend himself) and held up his wrench.

"I'm done playin' games with you, boy," Engie replied.

Soon, the BLU mercenary was beaten with Engineer's wrench, and he let out a howl of pain.

"I got him," the Engineer called to the Scouts.

"Who _was_ that guy?" Flapjack asked.

Before Scout could answer, Engineer let out his own scream of pain and fell from the catwalk. His corpse was only a few inches from Flapjack who was looking for a bullet hole or something that gave a clue to what had killed him. Odd as it sounds, Engie looked unscathed as he "rested" on his back with his eyes closed. Little did Flapjack know that there were stab marks on the man's back. Who had killed him?

"Hey, up here!" a familiar voice said.

The two Scouts looked up and saw the now alive BLU Spy holding a pocket watch.

"Darn, he used his Dead Ringer," Scout muttered under his breath.

Quickly, Flapjack followed Scout up the stairs and they prepared to beat Spy with their bats. Once they got up the steps, they couldn't find Spy anywhere.

"Wasn't he just here?" Flapjack asked.

Scout hushed him, since he knew that Spy must've activated his Cloak and Dagger. He started swinging his bat around every part of the catwalk, hoping to hit the invisible assassin. While he was distracted with that, the BLU Spy uncloaked right behind Flapjack after cleverly disguising himself as Engie.

"Scout, what in sam hill are you doin'?" "Engie" asked (which startled Flapjack since he hadn't noticed his presence).

"Oh, Engie, ya came back from Respawn. Well, that BLU Spy is hangin' around here and I can't find him!"

Flapjack looked at "Engie" and noticed something different about him: he was smoking a cigarette. He hadn't been smoking before, so why now?

"Engie, why are you smoking all of the sudden?" Flapjack queried.

Before the imposter could reply, Scout said, "Engie doesn't smoke at all…"

They both looked at "Engie" as sweat trickled down his face. BLU mercenaries were coming back to the bomb now, so Scout had to forget the odd smoking situation and left Flapjack alone. Oh, Scout, what a fatal mistake you made. Within seconds, Flapjack let out a piercing scream and was killed. That Engineer wasn't on RED's side, nor was he an Engineer at all… it was the evil BLU Spy. Unfortunately, Scout was soon dead as well, considering the BLUs began to gang up on the lone RED until he joined his "apprentice" in Respawn.

"YOU MUST DEFEND THE FINAL CHECKPOINT!" the Administrator yelled at all of the REDs.

Wait a minute… where were all of the REDs? Wouldn't they know to play defense and protect their base? The thing was that they were all _inside_ the base… and it was all because of Captain K'nuckles. Once the two Scouts were revived and brought to the Respawn room, they located their team. The REDs were all looking at them as if they were blocking their view of something… but what? The pair turned around to see Heavy beating Captain K'nuckles to a pulp. No one bothered to pay attention to the Administrator's announcement of the RED's pathetic failure.

"NO, CAPTAIN! WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO YOU?!" Flapjack shouted and cried.

"If you come and stand by me so I can see ze fight, I shall tell you, _mon lapin_," a man said to Flapjack.

Flapjack was hesitant since this man looked a lot like the BLU Spy. The only difference was the color of his pin-striped suit and ski mask. The young boy didn't move and only looked at the man with pure fear in his eyes.

"Do not be afraid, I am ze RED Spy. I am on your team," he held out a hand.

Flapjack walked over to the RED Spy, convinced he could trust his teammate.

"Why is that guy hurting my friend?!" Flapjack tried to ask calmly, but a sob came out along with it.

"Quiet, he will be fine. Ze Respawn is not going to give out anytime soon. Heavy is angry with your _camarade_ since he insulted his sandwiches and said he was fat," Spy couldn't help but laugh a little at that.

"Well, when did that all happen?"

"When ze new Demoman respawned, he ran into Heavy after talking to Sniper _et_ Engineer. He didn't know how to get back on ze battlefield so he required ze assistance of Heavy. Turns out Heavy teased him a little by saying it was sad zhat he did not know how to get out of ze base. Your _ami_ took it ze wrong way and returned some insults."

"So you guys have been watching this the whole time?"

"_Oui_, it is pretty entertaining. I—"

Before Spy could finish his sentence, BLU members stormed into the Respawn room and went on their victorious killing spree.


	3. Chapter 3

Once all of the REDs were temporarily dead in the Respawn room, the BLUs left to celebrate back at their base. Flapjack hugged his captain when he respawned, assuming he needed comfort after being crushed so severely by the RED Russian warrior and then ironically being killed by the BLU Heavy. Now, everyone was just standing around and chatting (except for the RED Heavy who constantly looked over at K'nuckles with abhorrence burning in his eyes). Flapjack was confused since no one was leaving to go home.

He decided to speak up, "So… when do we go home?"

All of the mercenaries stared and then burst out laughing. Flapjack didn't understand what was so humorous about going home, so he just waited until they were done chortling. Spy, after wiping a tear from his eye and getting out a final snort, realized that Flapjack was serious. He walked over to the boy and bent his knees so he was at the same level as the fledgling.

"Were you not told _anyzing_ by ze Administrator?"

"I never met her… I thought she just announced stuff for us on the speaker things!"

When Spy heard this, he stood up and attempted to get the attention of his colleagues who were all back to talking. After seeing that this took no effect, he took out his Ambassador and shot it at the ceiling. Everyone froze and looked at Spy, plus some laughed since Flapjack was hugging the man's leg out of fear of the sudden gunshot. Spy looked down at him and cleared his throat as a gesture for him to let go, which Flapjack did with a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Gentlemen, zis new Scout seriously doesn't know anyzing about how it works around here. It seems zat ze Administrator did not tell him any particulars or even _meet_ him."

"I don't know any of that stuff either… I don't even know who the Administrator is!" K'nuckles laughed to himself and Soldier pushed him up by Flapjack.

"SCOUT… I KNOW THAT _YOU_ BROUGHT HIM HERE, AND THIS DEMOMAN. YOU NEED TO TELL US THE WHOLE STORY!" Soldier pointed to Scout.

"Okay, okay, I will!" Scout ran up and stood next to Spy, Flapjack, and the captain.

Scout stared into space for a second as he tried to collect his memories on meeting the two Stormalong citizens. Spy looked at his watch impatiently as Flapjack and K'nuckles sat on the floor.

"Come on, I don't have all day!" Spy slapped Scout with his gloved hand.

"I was just thinkin' for a minute, ya shape-shiftin' rat, jeez! Okay, so what happened was I accidentally got off the battlefield by taking a few wrong turns—"

_"A lot of wrong turns…"_ Soldier whispered to Sniper.

"Hey, don't think I can't hear ya from ova here! Anyways, I was runnin' down a dock and I dropped my bag. I had ta pick up all of my baseballs and when I looked up I saw these two guys starin' at me like I was an alien. I talked to them, and K'nuckles said that he wanted to help us. So, I took 'em ova here and Solly saw me—"

"THAT IS IT, MAGGOT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT OR I WOULD SEND YOU BACK TO YOUR MA IN TINY PIECES! SOMEBODY GET ME A SWORD SO I CAN CHOP HIM—" Soldier shouted until Sniper covered his mouth.

"Sorry, mate, get on with this story. If it's too long Oi don't know if Oi'll be able to restrain him!" Sniper motioned a person wearing an asbestos suit over and they both got a good hold on their insane comrade.

"Uh, Spy, who's that guy in the costume?" Flapjack tugged on the RED man's suit.

"_Zut_, you don't even know who everyone is. Don't worry; we'll sort zis out once _Scout_ finishes zis story!" Spy glared at the young man.

"If there will be _no more_ interruptions, _Soldier_, I will finish this!" Scout said. "So, _Soldier_ saw me with 'em and I told him that they were here to fight. After that I figured out that they didn't even know what the payload was and blah blah blah…"

"Yeah, and then I got beat up!" Captain K'nuckles looked over at Heavy.

"Just do not go insulting sandviches and weight again, leetle man…" Heavy growled.

"We will deal with you two later. Now, new Scout, tell me: who do you know in zis room?" Spy asked.

Flapjack looked at the men from left to right: there was a man wearing a kilt, Engie, a science-y looking guy wearing a lab coat, Heavy, the person in the "costume", Soldier, and the man who offered to restrain Soldier.

"I know you, Scout, Engie, Heavy, and Soldier."

"Sniper knows me!" K'nuckles chimed in.

"Ooh, I know, let's just go in a stupid circle, say our names, and say dumb stuff about ourselves!" Scout sarcastically suggested.

Everyone laughed at the idea and they decided to do it, considering there was nothing else to do. Scout went first.

"Hey guys, I'm Scout!" he waved like a stupid little kid.

"HI SCOUT!" everyone said back.

"Uh, I like running really fast and drinking soda… plus I like double-jumps!"

Next was Spy, who decided to play along in the childish ice breaker circle.

"_Bonjour,_ I am Spy."

"HI SPY!"

"I like to disguise myself as ozher people _et_ show off my knife skills!"

He took out his Butterfly Knife and skillfully swung it around with his fingers. Then, he disguised himself as the BLU Scout, grabbed his earpiece, and said, "This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry! Over!"

The men laughed their heads off, but Scout was a little bit insulted since the BLU Spy would occasionally steal his earpiece and say that into it.

"Hi, I'm Flapjack!" Flapjack's turn came.

"HI FLAPJACK!"

"I live with Captain K'nuckles and my friend Bubby also I—"

He stopped because he heard Scout talking to Spy.

"That's what we forgot to tell 'em about…" Scout was saying to his teammate.

"What do you have to tell us?" Flapjack looked at Spy and Scout.

"Well, uh, ya see, the whole _livin'_ thing… yeah…" Scout tried to explain.

"Are you trying to say zat he should be _dead_? _Mon dieu_, Scout, I'm so glad zat you aren't a teacher," Spy shook his head.

"Jeez, Spy, get offa my case! Okay, what I'm tryin' to say is that when you join this team... you don't go home, Flapjack…"

"HUBBA WHAT?!" Flapjack shouted.

Captain K'nuckles stood up, equally as shocked.

"Yeah, what do you mean we 'don't go home'? Where else would we _go_?" he asked.

"You must live here on ze RED base like ze rest of us," Spy stated.

_What about Bubby? What about the good side of Stormalong Harbor? What about my plans to become a great adventurer? _Flapjack thought this, along with many more questions.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Since I'm back in school, I might take longer to update, considering I have testing this week… but I will not give up on this story! Enjoy! (:

Everyone was concerned about Flapjack since he had been staring out into space for quite some time. The man wearing the lab coat walked over to him with a stethoscope in hand.

"Don't vorry, I believe he vill be alright," he spoke in a German accent.

He took his stethoscope and checked the lad's heart. It pumped frantically, but it sounded normal. Flapjack didn't respond to the man prodding him with his finger.

"How is he, doc?" Scout asked.

"He is just in a state of shock from all of zhis newfound information… let's take him to zee Infirmary," "Doc" instructed.

Heavy gladly helped his colleague lift Flapjack there. It wasn't that hard since Flapjack was such a petite fellow. After throwing a blanket over the child once he had been placed on the nearest makeshift bed, Heavy watched his comrade pace the Infirmary. It was a very small subdivision of the base, but it had a homely feel to it. The left and right sides of the room were lined with several cots and a desk sat in front of many medical items.

"What should we do, doctor?"

"Ve vill just have to vait for him to snap out of it."

As though on cue, Flapjack started to stir. Both men walked over to him slowly.

"Huh? Where am I?" said Flapjack.

"You are in zee Infirmary, _mein_ friend," the doctor smiled.

"Da, you were standing there like frozen leetle baby," Heavy added.

"Who-who are you?" Flapjack asked the guy next to Heavy.

"Oh, it appears zhat I did not get _mein_ turn in our little ice-breaker game yet! I am zee Medic."

"Well, uh, thanks for helping me out, Medic. Can I go back to the Respawn room and tell everyone that I'm okay now?"

"I'm afraid I cannot let you, Flapjack. I want to make sure you are healthy for battle tomorrow so you must stay in here for zee night," Medic explained while grabbing a folder from the desk.

Medic, with the folder still in hand, walked over to Heavy and whispered something to him. Heavy smiled at the message and ran out of the room, leaving the Medic and his patient alone (or so Flapjack thought). Suddenly, sounds of chirping filled the room, along with the rattling of metal. Medic walked over to something covered under a sheet and removed it which revealed a cage of doves. One of the birds appeared to have blood stains on random parts of its feathers, and it was squawking the loudest.

"Is that bird bleeding?" Flapjack gasped.

"Oh no, Flapjack, zhose are just stains from zee battle. It is rather difficult to get blood out of bird feathers, I'm afraid—"

"Bwaaarl, Archimedes wants brains!" the "bloody dove" interrupted its owner.

"No, Archimedes, you cannot have zee boy's brains. Shh!"

"Nice to meet you too, Archimedes," Flapjack laughed.

After joining the young man in his laughter, the Medic looked down at the folder he was holding. He opened it and took out a form.

"Vell, since you are here, I am going to have to make a medical file for you. So, your first name is Flapjack… zhat's spelled F-L-A-P-J-A-C-K, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"_Und_ your last name?"

"I just go by Flapjack, sir…"

"Umm… no big deal, I suppose. How old are you?"

"Seven."

Medic's jaw dropped. He looked up from the file and at Flapjack.

"…Really? Only seven? How did zee Administrator even—"

Before the man could continue his wondering, the Infirmary doors burst open and all of the other RED mercenaries came in. They were holding a large cake and many wrapped presents.

"SURPRISE!" everyone cheered as they crowded Flapjack's cot.

"Oh, wow! You guys didn't have to do this…" Flapjack grinned widely.

Captain K'nuckles walked over to Flapjack and whispered, _"Shh, Flap! We'll finally get to eat something almost as delicious as candy now!"_

"Whatever you say, captain," he winked.

Once everyone got their first slice of cake and demolished it, Heavy finished off the rest of the icing-covered beauty. No one minded, though, since they still had to eat dinner later. The men all surrounded Flapjack and asked more about what had happened back in Respawn.

"I kind of don't remember, but something someone said made me freeze up, and the next thing I knew I was here…" Flapjack shrugged.

"What did we say that could'a made that happen… oh yeah! We were talkin' about how you have to stay here and you can't go home—" Scout's words were brought to a halt by Spy's glove.

Spy's eyes angrily glared at Scout. Scout nervously laughed, removed Spy's hand from his mouth, and waited for Flapjack to say something. Flapjack's face was bright red and tears came down his face like heavy rain. He hugged his knees and hid his head as he silently wept. The person in the asbestos suit walked closer to him and put his hand on Flapjack's trembling shoulder.

"Mmph mmph mmph…" he/she mumbled through the mask.

"W-w-what did you say?" Flapjack looked up.

"Pyro said that you'll be okay," Engie said.

"Oh, I didn't meet you either… Pyro… well, thank you for saying that," Flapjack smiled a little.

Pyro let out a happy giggle and gave Flapjack a nice hug.

"Aww…" some of the men smiled.

"Hey, I didn't even meet you two!" Flapjack pointed at Sniper and the man in the kilt as he wiped away his tears.

"Aye, 'tis true, laddie! Well, I'm the original Demoman and I…" Demoman suddenly fell asleep.

"Uh… is he all right?" Flapjack asked.

"Yeah, mate, this is normal for him. Anyways, Oi'm the Sniper. If you see any of those BLU mongrels being shot out of nowhere, know that it was probably my doing, mate," Sniper tilted his hat.

"Finally, you know everyone now! Good thing is I met them all way before you in Respawn, boy!" Captain K'nuckles chuckled.

"Well, now zhat we are all acquainted, we must get back down to business…" Spy said to Flapjack.

"Yeah, I know… but I'll be all right this time around. So, I can't go back home… what am I supposed to do about that?" Flapjack put his hands on his face.

"Ooh, I know, we can send a letter to his folks and tell 'em where he's gonna be!" Scout said.

"_Oui_, Scout, it would be _perfectly fine_ for someone to just let zheir kid come live with people he just met and fight in a war," Spy sarcastically stated.

"I was just trying to help, jeez…"

"Maybe vee vill have to talk to zee Administrator," Medic said.

"I'm afraid zhat is what we must do. I'm shocked she hasn't called us in already, considering she has already seen enough of zhese two in ze battle…" Spy looked up at a security camera.

"Oh, don't worry, Spy, you'll be called down soon…" the Administrator grinned as she listened to the REDs.

"When should I deliver them, ma'am?" a woman stood behind her.

"Tonight, Miss Pauling, do not be so impatient. I can't wait to see how this plays out…"

"Neither can I, ma'am. When exactly should I send these out tonight?" Miss Pauling asked.

"It depends when everyone goes to sleep so we can be sure that no one on RED sees you… but eventually, they will all have to get some rest for tomorrow's battle."

"Okay. Also, I finished putting in the latest medical charts for the BLUs into the computer."

"Excellent," she grinned wider and went back to concentrating on the REDs on her screen.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Oops, this update is sort of late. Sorry. A lot has been happening in school lately, so I haven't found the time for this until two days ago. I would like to thank my friends Sage and Caitlin for reading this chapter for me, and they liked it (even though they know nothing of Team Fortress or Flapjack). This chapter is okay, I suppose, but I really like it because it focuses on how Spy and Sniper hate each other. :D Enjoy!

Around five in the morning, the sun rose, which brought forth a beautiful morning. Birds were chirping, animals happily walked about, and both bases were silent. Over at the RED base, Spy was outside. He leaned leisurely against a wall as he smoked his first cigarette of the day. Only four of the REDs woke up this early: Spy, Engie, Sniper, and Soldier. Spy always liked to get an early smoke and time to think on his own, Engie would tinker with his sentries, Sniper liked to shoot some small animals that wandered in the wrong places, and Soldier would exercise until he passed out.

"Hey Spook, have you seen a little rabbit lately?" Sniper walked up with his gun in hand.

"_Non_, I don't take my time to waste bullets on zhose nasty creatures," Spy said in disgust .

"You got a problem with what Oi do to pass the toime? Well, Oi foind it more excitin' than standin' around loike a bloody idiot," Sniper growled.

"I can do whatever I want, _bushman_. If I were you, I would get going if I actually wanted to catch zhat _lapin_ you asked me about."

"_Spies… bloody useless mongrels,"_ Sniper muttered as he stomped off.

That was another thing you had to know about any Team Fortress group: the Spy and Sniper had a strange hatred for one another. They always had something to fight over and they were like an old married couple, as Scout put it. Luckily, Flapjack hadn't been introduced to that fact yet, since that would've been a bad way to meet them both. Spy rolled his eyes once he heard a gunshot and then a scream.

"_Mon dieu_, what has he done zhis time..."

Spy dropped his cigarette, crushed it under his shoe, and slowly walked to the source of the yell. Behind the RED building, Sniper was lying up against a tree with a hand on his arm. Spy stood there and crossed his arms as a grin crept onto his thin lips.

"Well, are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna help me?" the Australian breathed heavily as he spoke.

"If I do help you, you'll never learn to stop wasting your time on zhose wretched animals instead of ze BLUs, so why should I?"

"LISTEN UP, YOU RIDICULOUS FRENCHMAN, YOU WILL HELP YOUR TEAMMATE OR I WILL BLAST YOU TO THE MOON!" Soldier appeared from the other side of the building, sweating and jogging in place as he shouted.

After the American ran off, Spy cursed under his breath and walked over to his "friend" in need.

"I can see zhat you idiotically shot yourself," Spy snickered as he knelt down by Sniper.

"Oy, it was a bloody accident! Oi never found the bunny but there was a bird. Oi shot at it, missed, and the bullet somehow came back to me loike a boomerang!"

The younger mercenary attempted to lift the older one's hand from his wound, but he was quickly pushed away.

"I have to see how bad it is somehow!" Spy snarled.

"Yeah, but it hurts! Don't just go yankin' my hand off of it!"

"Fine, just move your hand and let me see, bushman."

Slowly, Sniper removed his palm to reveal a bloody bullet hole. The end of the bullet gleamed as the sun rays landed on it.

"Hopefully ze Medic can remove zhat for you. _Allons-y._"

With help from Spy, Sniper stood up and cradled his arm like it was a baby. After walking inside, the two noticed that it was still pretty early, so Medic was probably still asleep.

"Should we wake Medic?" Sniper asked.

"_Non_, he would probably cut us with his bone saw if we did zhat. I suppose I will have to help you…"

"Oh no, Oi don't trust you with my life, ya snake! Oi'm not letting you take out the bullet!" Sniper turned away.

"If I _don't_ take it out, zhat will not be good for you. Let me take it out so I can go relax sooner!" Spy walked in front of Sniper and clenched his fists at his sides.

"Oi just can't trust you! Don't even _think_ about punchin' me, Oi'm already in enough pain, you bloody bogan!"

"I am no bogan, _monsieur,_ I believe zhat you are. You pee in jars for goodness sake!"

The two men glared at one another evilly. Spy soon turned away and shrugged.

"Fine, if you wish to get infected and have a bullet inside your arm, be my guest."

"Oi think it would be a lot safer than havin' you diggin' around in my arm for the bullet! You'd probably rip my arm off!"

This made Spy angrily whip back around to face his obnoxious teammate.

"I know zhat we hate each other, but do you _really_ zhink I would do zhat to you? Sure, if I could do zhings like zhat I wouldn't mind, but we are on ze _same_ team. If I did anyzhing to you, ze Administrator would have a gun to my head before you even knew she took me away!"

Sniper didn't talk for a second. Spy folded his arms, suspecting that he had won the verbal battle, but then the Australian started to talk.

"Oi still can't trust you! You're a bloody Spy, and if you're on my team or not, there's no way Oi can put my life in your hands. Besides that, do you even know _how_ to treat bullet wounds?" he shouted.

Footsteps interrupted Spy's response. Now, all of the REDs—excluding Flapjack, who stayed in the Infirmary—stood around the two men.

"Can't you two fight at a later part in the day?" Scout asked as he yawned.

"Lucky for you, zhis fight is over. Medic, ze Sniper shot himself, so you might want to patch him up so BLU doesn't have an advantage," Spy walked out after he spoke his last word.

"So… who's makin' breakfast?" Scout broke the silence.

Spy decided to go take a shower in an attempt to wash away his anger. After grabbing a towel and a new suit, he walked into the shower area and stepped into the nearest one. He liked his showers cold, and it would be helpful to have a freezing one so he'd cool down quicker (it was pretty warm out too, so it would help him with that as well). Once the water started hitting the tile, the French mercenary started to sing in French. He wasn't an amazing singer, but hearing French words in a catchy rhythm made him comfortable. His voice echoed off the walls as he scrubbed himself clean.

After shutting off the water and drying off, the gentleman pulled on his pin-striped suit and leather shoes. Since he didn't want to face the majority of his team after the stupid fight he had had with that ridiculous Sniper, Spy went to the only person that hadn't been there: Flapjack. That boy still thought he was a kind fellow, unless if he had heard him shouting before, which he probably had. The man pulled on a fake smile before entering the Infirmary.

"Flapjack? Are you awake?" Spy whispered.

The boy's blond head turned around to reveal his face.

"Yes, I'm awake. Hi, Spy," he said as he sat on his cot.

"Hello, Flapjack. So, did you sleep well?" Spy tried not to hint at anything.

"Yeah, but then I heard something and it woke me up," Flapjack yawned.

"So, umm, what did you hear?"

"I can't really explain it, but I've heard it before. The problem is, I don't remember when and where I was the first time I heard it!"

_Wait, what is he talking about? It doesn't sound like he's talking about ze fight…_ Spy thought.

"Well, what happened after zhat?" Spy was curious.

"I don't know, but I didn't want to turn around and look out the window. It felt like someone was watching me, but that may have just been because I was paranoid about the noise I heard…"

"It was probably nozhing to worry about, but I'll just tell ze ozhers to make sure you are safe. So, are you ready to fight, _mon ami_?" Spy offered his hand to help the lad out of bed.

"Yeah, I just need some breakfast. I'm going to get dressed, so I'll see you later, Spy!"

Spy waved before exiting. _I've got to tell zhem about zhat noise he heard… Zut, now I have to go talk to zhem._ He slowly walked to the kitchen.


End file.
